I’m tempted to tell you I’m no saint, but God says in many places that I am. So I’ve decided not to fight it any more. I may have a flesh-back (B.C – Before Christ) moment every once in a while, but I’m still a saint. Like Joyce Meyer says, I’m OK and I’m on my way! It’s dysfunctional to always be nice, especially if you’re in a destructive relationship. Leslie Vernick says that the opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference. Many would disagree, but the more I pondered this the more I realized how much I believe it to be true. So many people are in relationships that live this out, day in day out.
In a movie I saw recently, a man said something I found very profound. They were being held in captivity against their will, and one young woman had already committed suicide. When the newcomer asked why, the older, considerably wiser man said, “She grew tired of her terms of servitude”. It spoke volumes to me. How long will it take for us to grow tired of our terms of servitude? To whom am I a slave? you may ask. To the enemy of our souls, the great deceiver, the first angel to fall in a perfect environment called heaven. I’ve decided to stand up and take what belongs to me, just like Matthew 11.12 says. If I’m wrong and God convicts me, I’ll be quick to come and ask your forgiveness. But I don’t intimidation and control any more. No, sorry, wrong number – not happening. I choose love. Tough love or hard love, it’s your choice. And I choose mercy. In their book, Burn, by Ted Dekker and Tosca Lee, one of their characters said this and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it: more amazing to me than justice is mercy. In that same book, an old gypsy woman said something else that I’ve thought on many times: the heart has two chambers; one for John, and one for Judas. I’ve come to realize that it’s a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute, choice. We have the choice to love Jesus, or betray Him. With every thought, word and deed in our life we do one or the other. How I pray I make the right choice. Sion Alford once said that souls are attached to your gift. I never want someone to crash and burn because I had a flesh-back. I’m ready for that batch of new mercies, now, Lord…
Kari, the sometimes nice but perfectly human saint
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