At Ease, Sergeant!
This day I celebrate the gift of life more than I usually do. The sun seems brighter than it was before, the flowers smell sweeter. 50 years ago yesterday I entered this beautiful world, and the circumstances of my birth were such that I should have never survived. I’m a living testament to His grace, and I’m learning to really live in my middle name. I’m learning to give it, as well as something much harder for me –receive it. It seems like the older I get the bolder I get. I’m more apt to share what I’m thinking. If others don’t give me that same grace, that’s on them.
Joyce was talking this morning about facing fear and finding freedom. For years she’s told people to learn to “do it” afraid. So I started thinking about something; what am I afraid of? What’s my if? My worst possible scenario? So very many things. What if… if I never get to have the relationship with my youngest child like I long for… if I never meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with… if I feel like a failure, like my life counts for nothing… if I never feel like I’m brave… if I doubt I’ll ever walk in my Father’s perfect will for me… if I see those around me doing amazing things and I start to think I will never walk in the same… if I will always lack confidence taking risks both financially and personally… if I don’t think I can trust one more person with my heart, because of past experience…
Then God reminds me once again that we fight the good fight, or so Timothy thought in 1st Timothy 6.12. In my opinion, the only good fight is the one you win. I realized that I’ve read the back of the book, multiple times, and I know the outcome. We win! So if it’s a good fight, then I’m in it for the long haul.
Kari, the stouthearted
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