I’m tempted to tell you I’m no saint, but God says in many places that I am. So I’ve decided not to fight it any more. I may have a flesh-back (B.C – Before Christ) moment every once in a while, but I’m still a saint.
I’m as ‘nice’ as the next gal… until it’s time not to be nice. Sometimes it’s dysfunctional to be nice, especially if you’re in a destructive relationship. Leslie Vernick believes the opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference. I agree. Many are in co-dependent relationships, yet never addressing the root issues.
In a movie I saw recently a guy said something I found extremely profound. In this scene several characters were being held in captivity against their will. One young woman had already committed suicide in a desperate attempt to be free. When the newcomer asked why the older, considerably wiser man said, “She grew tired of her terms of servitude”. It spoke volumes to me.
How long will it take for us to grow tired of our own terms of servitude? “To whom am I a slave?” you may ask. To the enemy of our souls, the great deceiver, the first angel to fall in a perfect environment called heaven. I’m finally ready to stand up and take what belongs to me, like Matthew 11.12 says. If I’m wrong and God convicts me I’ll be quick to come and ask forgiveness. But I will no longer allow intimidation to control my life any more. No, sorry, wrong number – not happening. I choose love. Tough love or hard love, it’s your choice. And btw, I also choose mercy.
In her book, Burn, by Erin Healy, one of the major characters said something I just could not stop thinking about:
“More amazing to me than justice is mercy.” In the same book, an old gypsy woman said something else I’ve pondered many times: “The heart has two chambers; one for John, and one for Judas.” It’s a daily, sometimes momentary, choice. We can decide to love Jesus, or betray Him. With every thought, word and deed we do one or the other. I pray with all my heart I make right choices. Sion Alford once said that souls are attached to your gift. I never want someone to crash and burn because I had a flesh-back. I’m ready for that batch of new mercies, now, Lord…
Kari, the sometimes nice but perfectly human saint
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